


electrify my heart

by fairyy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyy/pseuds/fairyy
Summary: Phil is one of those people that talks to everyone. He's actually friendly, and just a generally enthusiastic person. The complete opposite of Dan, who isnotone of those people.a high school au.





	electrify my heart

**Author's Note:**

> title from buttercup by jack stauber.
> 
> this was written for the phandom reverse bang. shout out to [mkayyyart](https://mkayyyart.tumblr.com/) for the [art](https://mkayyyart.tumblr.com/post/186552768161/art-piece-for-phandomreversebang-ill-reblog) and [cellophan](https://cellophan.tumblr.com/) for beta reading!

Dan thinks it’s too early to be alive, as he makes his way over to his usual seat. There’s too many people rushing around him, all trying to get somewhere and it makes him feel trapped.

Dan really doesn't want to be here.

Years of bullying in his early years for being a bit loud, maybe obnoxious, (and maybe... something else he doesn’t want to think about) have left him quiet and wary of everyone else. He went from being the once loud, boisterous theatre kid with loads of friends, to whatever he is now.

It happened, and that’s fine. He grew up.

Being alone isn’t all that bad. He generally does the work he needs to do, after much procrastination, and spends the rest of his time playing video games. Sometimes when his nan visits, he thinks she worries about him never having friends round, but it doesn’t really matter. He’s good now. Well, a bit miserable, but that’s beside the point.

Dan sets his bag down and starts rummaging through it for his notebook. Did he leave it at home? He wouldn’t put it past him if he did.

He looks up when he hears a certain voice in conversation. 

Phil is one of those people that talks to everyone. He's actually friendly, and just a generally enthusiastic person.

The complete opposite of Dan, who is _not_ one of those people.

He doesn't talk much, but when he does, he's quite loud. He can ramble on about a topic for far longer than anyone is willing to listen, but he doesn't like the shame that settles in his stomach afterwards.

Phil makes a point to say hi to him every morning for some bizarre reason, and Dan has no idea what to make of it.

It’s just Phil’s personality, Dan thinks, every time. He refuses to let himself think it might be anything else. 

But Phil’s just gotten so _pretty_. He dyed his hair black recently, and now pushes it up off of his forehead and styles it in a quiff. It definitely suits him, brings out his eyes and all that. He’s tall now, maybe even a little taller than Dan. It really isn’t fair. 

“Hi, Dan.” There it is. 

“Hey.”

“How was your weekend?” Phil asks, because he’s polite like that. 

Dan never knows how to respond. “It was fine. I played guild wars, mostly.” 

“That sounds like a fun way to spend a weekend.”

Dan scrunches up his nose. “Does it?” He certainly thinks so, but Phil like, actually spends his time doing real life things. 

“It does! Much better than my weekend.”

That’s interesting. “What did you do?”

“My mum had our new neighbours over for dinner. It was awful.”

“Don’t you like people?” Dan asks. It comes out more blunt than he intended. 

“If I know them. If I don’t, it’s awkward, and I get kind of nervous.”

Dan tries to think of a response, but then class is starting, and Phil moves over to his seat closer to the front. Dan stares at him as he walks away. 

-

Sometimes he talks to Bryony.

She’s nice enough to him, with her doesn’t-give-a-shit attitude. He’s got a couple of classes with her, and when he feels like it, he’ll engage in what could be considered a normal amount of conversation.

Generally, he ends up having to listen to kpop, but he'll take what he can get.

“Why do they give us so much work? It really isn’t fair,” He says after one of their classes. He really just wants to go home and not think about the next day. 

Bryony shrugs. “Life’s not fair, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but they could at least be nicer about it.”

“Dunno what to tell you. You could always just not do it.”

“I do that! But I should at least do some of it. Otherwise I’ll feel bad.”

“That’s cute.”

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you,” she says as she walks off. 

Dan just rolls his eyes, and gathers up his things. 

-

“You don’t say much,” Phil tells him during one of their before class conversations.

“Not particularly,” Dan says, with a shrug. “Sometimes talking is hard, so I try not to.”

Phil frowns. “That doesn’t sound very nice.”

“It isn’t, always.” He leaves it at that. 

“But you talk to me?” Phil says like a question, almost pleased. 

“I guess I do, don’t I?” Because he does.

“Yeah.” Phil pokes him in the side. “You do.”

“Maybe I don’t hate talking to you. Maybe.”

“You love talking to me. You want to do it more.”

Dan smirks a bit. “Did I say that? I don’t think I did?” 

“You meant it, though.” Phil’s smiling. 

Dan’s smiling now too. “Perhaps I did.”

-

Today, his conversation with Bryony isn’t about her love of kpop. It’s about him. 

"Who do you fancy?" she asks. It’s kind of out of nowhere, and Dan doesn’t like it.

"What?" Dan asks. He really does not want to be having this conversation right now. Since when is he so interesting?

"You heard me."

"How is that in any way relevant to anything?"

Bryony shrugs. "Come on, tell me."

"I'm good, mate."

"There has to be someone."

"I mean... maybe? But that doesn't give me any reason to tell you."

Maybe he has a person in mind, but he's not entirely sure that telling her would be the best idea. He's tried not to do too much of that as of late. 

"That means there is someone!"

"Nope. We’re not having this discussion."

"We'll just come back to it."

Dan's heart rate picks up a little at that. He kind of wants to tell her, but...

He’ll wait on that for now.

-

“So, Dan.”

Dan feels like shit. He just wanted to get through the rest of the day without being acknowledged by anyone else, but Phil clearly has other plans. Dan might be okay with that. Maybe. 

Dan raises an eyebrow. “So, Phil.”

“Can I borrow a pencil?” Phil asks.

“Really?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t know where they all go. I’ll give this one back, I promise.” Phil looks so earnest, asking for a fucking pencil, god, so Dan gives in. He makes sure Phil sees him roll his eyes, though.

He fishes the only other pencil he has out of his backpack. “Here you go.”

“Thanks!” Phil’s hand brushes his as he takes the pencil. Dan doesn’t notice that, doesn’t let his mind linger on how soft Phil’s hands are at all. “I’ll give it back,” Phil promises.

“It’s okay,” Dan says, giving him a look. Phil doesn’t seem to ever actually give the pencils Dan’s given him back. 

“Hey. I will.”

“Okay, whatever.” Dan smiles, as he says it.

“Thanks, Danny,” Phil says again, walking off to his seat as class is starting. Dan glares at the teacher for starting the lecture and interrupting the conversation he was having with Phil. It doesn’t help.

-

The teacher decides that today is a good day to announce a project. And, of course it has to be a group project. Dan hates group projects with a passion. 

He especially hates when the teacher lets the students pick their own groups. That’s what most people want, and he knows that. But it’s not the best when he tries to avoid interacting with most people and isn’t anyone’s first choice. He doesn’t want to work with anyone at all.

He stays firmly in place at his desk while everyone else gets up to find people to work with.

“Hi.”

Dan turns around. Of course it’s Phil. 

“Yes?” he asks, even though he’s pretty sure what Phil wants. What he doesn’t understand is why.

“We should like… work on this project. Together.”

Dan raises an eyebrow. He pretends to think about it for a second.

“Sure,” he says. “Why not.”

“Really?” Phil looks excited, for some reason. 

Dan gestures around the lack of people by his seat. “Did you think I was gonna say no?”

Phil shrugs. 

“Let’s get started then.”

-

They decide to go to Starbucks to work on the project a few days later, and Dan’s fine with that. 

What he’s not sure he’s fine with is the fact that he might, potentially, fancy Phil a little bit. Getting coffee almost sounds a bit like a date. It’s clearly not, but Dan… kind of wishes it was. 

Phil’s like, the friendliest person ever, nice and outgoing. Dan’s a bit surprised when Phil makes Dan order for them at Starbucks, but that’s alright. Dan doesn’t mind strangers as much. 

“Here,” Dan says as he sets down two caramel macchiatos. “I can’t believe you made me talk to people.” He rolls his eyes while he talks.

“It’s different with stuff like this.”

“I know,” Dan says. He doesn’t entirely, but Phil smiles anyways. “I don’t mind, really.”

“Well, thanks.” Dan’s sure the spot on his chin is flushed. Phil saying thank you really shouldn’t _mean_ anything. 

Phil starts pulling out his laptop, so Dan does as well. He really doesn’t want to, but if it means he gets to spend time with Phil, well. He’d do a lot to spend time with Phil now. 

“How the fuck are we supposed to do this,” he groans, staring at his computer screen. Phil looks over his own screen at Dan. 

Phil’s eyes are so blue, and Dan’s always a little bit mesmerized by them. He realizes he’s staring a bit too late when Phil starts to look confused.

“Sorry. I zoned out there for a second. I’m… not really sure?” They’re off to a strong start. “Do you have any ideas?”

-

By the end of their study session, Dan learns that he actually has quite a bit more in common with Phil than he had realized. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone interesting. 

And that’s cool. Dan can deal with this. It’s not entirely _fair_ that Phil can get even better, but Dan’s not complaining.

-

“See, this is why I don’t like to eat lunch with you,” Dan says after another one of Phil’s friends comes up to talk to him.

Phil’s Dan to sit with him a couple of times, almost like he just reminds Dan that the offer’s still on the table, But Dan’s never forgotten. 

He agreed today. 

“Oh come on, Dan. It’s not _that_ bad, is it?” Phil elbows Dan’s arm.

“No, no, it’s just. Well, maybe a little.” Phil can’t really blame him, can he? Dan’s spent the better part of his time at school actively avoiding people, and this goes against all of that. 

“Well… come home with me later and there won’t be any other people.”

“Phil, oh my god. Is that, like, a line?"

“Yes, absolutely.” Phil attempts winking. It doesn’t work.

“You absolutely cannot wink, you spork.”

“Don’t make fun of me, I’m trying my best!” Phil says, as he shoves Dan in the shoulder. “But seriously. We can like. Do homework or something.”

“Or something. Okay Phil.” Dan laughs. 

-

Dan says yes. It doesn’t actually take much convincing from Phil, but it feels a little strange. It’s not like he doesn’t want to hang out with Phil, he just doesn’t understand why Phil’s started considering him as a friend. 

Doing something turns out to be attempting to do the work they’re meant to do, or not really attempting at all if Dan’s honest, and then moving to Mario Kart. Phil insists that he’s quite good at Mario Kart, but Dan knows he’s better. 

Of course he is, he doesn’t have friends like Phil does. Nowhere to be on Friday nights, that sort of thing.

“Shit.”

“Oh dear, Phil,” Dan says, drawing it out.

Phil shoves him. 

“I _could_ have beat you, I just didn’t want to make you feel bad.” 

“Sure you could have.” 

“Yes.”

“Keep telling yourself that, mate.”

Phil insists on a rematch. Dan wins, again. Phil flops back on the bed and groans, covering his eyes with his arm. 

“Sixth place? Really?” 

“You distracted me,” Phil says.

“Oh sure I did, whatever.”

Dan takes a moment to look around the room. It feels very Phil, with the green and blue duvet cover and buffy posters on the wall. The sun’s already set, and as much as he doesn’t want to, Dan feels like he should go.

“Hey, it’s getting late,” he says, a bit reluctantly. “I should probably head home.”

Phil pouts a little, but offers to walk him to the door. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Phil says, as Dan walks out.

Dan laughs a little. “Yep.”

He turns around and starts walking.

-

“For fuck’s sake.” Dan pauses for a moment to look at the time. “Phil!”

“What?”

Dan’s over at Phil’s again. The project they’ve been trying to work on is due next week, and they haven’t been very diligent about finishing it. 

He blames the school entirely. It has nothing to do with the fact that neither of them are particularly outstanding students, and it certainly has nothing to do with how Dan keeps getting distracted by how cute Phil looks.

“Mate,” he starts, tapping his computer screen. “It’s already 10 and we haven’t gotten anything done.”

Phil looks slightly guilty. Dan sighs, a bit dramatically, but this is a lot of work, he’s allowed, and buries his face in his hands. 

“Hey Dan?”

Dan hums in response. 

“You could stay over, if you wanted to? So we could try to get more work done?” Phil, usually confident, sweet Phil, looks nervous. 

“I,” he starts. I would love to, dies on the tip of his tongue. “Yeah, that should be fine,” he says instead. “Let me just let my mum know.”

“Okay.” Phil beams and Dan’s heart just about explodes. This isn’t fair. 

He shoots a quick text off to his mum, who says yes after a few minutes. Dan wonders if she cares all that much.

“Should we… get started then?” he asks. 

“Oh, right. We probably... should do that.”

“Yes, Phil, we should.”

“Shut up, it’s late, okay?” Phil stands up and rubs his eyes with his hands. “I need coffee or something. Do you want me to make you one too?”

“Okay, yeah. Thanks,” Dan says, as Phil gets up and walks out the door. 

He’s tired too, now that he thinks of it. He decides to lay down. Phil’s bed is comfortable.

Dan thinks it’s a bit strange that he’s hanging out with someone and not hating it the entire time. It’s… nice. 

Phil pops back in the room briefly to ask Dan what he likes in his coffee, before going back. He comes back a few minutes later with two mugs. 

He hears Phil set the mugs down and walk over to Dan. “Here’s your coffee,” he says. 

Dan sits up and rubs his eyes before Phil hands him one of the mugs.

“Thanks,” Dan says. “I’ll be needing this.”

“Looks like you will.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Ugh.”

Phil sits down behind his laptop again. “Well. Let’s actually get started, shall we?”

“If we must.”

-

By the time they make some real progress, it’s 2:00 am. The caffeine’s started to wear off, and while Dan doesn’t usually fall asleep until around this time, and sometimes later, to be honest, working and being around someone else has made him really tired. He yawns.

Phil does too. “You made me yawn,” he says, pouting a little.

“Sorry,” Dan laughs. Phil knows he’s not actually sorry. 

Phil shuts his laptop, and puts it on his desk. Dan thinks he should probably do the same, so he puts his in his bag. 

“Do you wanna go to bed yet?” Phil asks.

“Maybe?” It comes out as a question. 

“We could watch something first?” 

Dan nods. That sounds good. “Alright.”

“Here, let me just...” Phil trails off. He looks at Dan. “What do you want to watch?”

“Oh, I don’t care. Whatever you want, I think I might end up falling asleep.” He hasn’t slept well lately. 

“That’s fine. How do you feel about Buffy?”

“The vampire slayer?” 

Phil nods in response.

Dan shrugs. “I haven’t seen it, but why not.” 

“You have to watch it. The first season is, uh, okay, but it gets better.” Phil grabs his laptop and pulls it up. He pauses. “Did you want something to change into?”

Oh. Right, Dan had forgotten about that. “Sure, if you have anything.” Phil nods and goes to rummage through his drawers. He tosses Dan a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. 

“The bathroom’s on the right,” Phil calls. 

Dan goes to the bathroom to change. After he’s done, he takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He kind of looks like shit, while Phil, doesn’t really look like shit. It makes his insides hurt in a way he really doesn’t want to feel. 

Phil doesn’t really have a reason to be hanging out with him. Phil has loads of friends, he talks to nearly everyone at school who will listen, and while talking to strangers is a different story, people gravitate towards Phil. Dan, on the other hand, doesn’t really have that. He brings others down, so he’s learned to keep quiet. People are overrated, anyways. 

He splashes water on his face to try and feel a bit more human. Phil lets him use an extra new toothbrush he has laying around, so he brushes his teeth, and goes back to Phil’s room. 

Phil, is wearing the most hideous bright yellow emoji pyjamas. 

“Phil,” Dan says. “What- what are those?”

Phil turns a little red. “Shut up. They were the only ones I had clean.” 

Dan pulls a face. “Do your laundry mate.”

“Oh my god, I will. But not on a Friday night, for sure.”

“Sure,” Dan says, drawing it out. 

Phil rolls his eyes. “Sit down,” he says, patting the space on the bed beside him. “We’re gonna watch Buffy now.”

Dan sits. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting, but it’s not for Phil to pull his duvet over both of them. Dan doesn’t mind it.

When the show starts, Dan’s eyelids start dropping. He tries to stay awake, tries to get somewhat invested in what’s playing on the screen, but he finds himself drifting off. 

-

“Dan.” 

And louder this time. “Dan.” 

It takes Dan a minute to realize where he is. He’s laying on something warm, moving- oh god, he fell asleep on Phil’s shoulder. He sits up abruptly.

“I’m so sorry,” he says.

Phil smiles. “That’s okay. You warned me that you would fall asleep,” he says with a shrug.

“Well yeah, but not on your shoulder.”

Phil turns to look at him. “Dan, seriously. It’s fine.”

Dan still feels sort of embarrassed about the whole thing. Falling asleep on your crush’s shoulder isn’t supposed to _actually_ happen. And certainly not to him. 

“Sorry,” Dan mumbles again, for good measure. He’s not sure that Phil hears him or if he does and just chooses to ignore it.

“I’m gonna turn the light off now. You’re okay with just sleeping here?” Phil gestures to the bed. 

“Yeah.” It comes out weak. He coughs and tries again. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Phil gets up to turn off the lights. Dan feels the bed dip as Phil gets into it again on the other side. Dan can hear Phil breathing in the silence. It’s a little awkward, now.

“Goodnight, Phil,” Dan says, breaking the silence. 

Phil looks at him and smiles. “Goodnight, Dan.”

-

Dan wakes up slowly. First, he notices the light streaming in behind his eyelids. He’s fully prepared to go right back to sleep, then. He doesn’t really want to have to deal with his parents and Adrian first thing in the morning.

Then he notices that he’s pressed against something warm. He opens his eyes. Phil. Right.

His hair is all messed up from sleep, and Dan feels something fond in his chest. He’s trying to figure out how to pull away from Phil without waking him up, when Phil stirs. He opens his eyes and blinks a few times.

“Dan?”

Dan hums. 

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

Phil sits up then, moving away from Dan. If he found it weird that they were practically on top of each other, he doesn’t comment on it. He reaches for his glasses on his nightstand and puts them on.

“You should wear your glasses more often. They look good,” Dan says, and fuck, where did that come from?

Phil lets out a weak chuckle. “Thanks. I dunno, I feel like they make me look, I don’t know. Nerdy, or something.”

“You don’t need glasses to look like a nerd, Phil.”

Phil throws his pillow at Dan. He misses, kind of badly. “Shut up!”

Dan throws his pillow back. Phil screams. “Hey!”

Phil pokes his side. 

“Okay, okay, you can win. For fucks sake.”

Phil looks entirely too pleased with himself. 

“Do you want breakfast?” Phil asks, after a minute. 

Of course Dan wants breakfast, who does Phil take him for?

While Phil goes to the kitchen in search of food, Dan goes to the bathroom. He still looks like shit, but maybe he feels a little better. He goes and joins Phil in the kitchen.

“My parents went to help my brother with something this morning, so we have the place to ourselves.”

Dan nods. That’s cool, that’s cool.

“We have Shreddies or… Crunchy Nut,” Phil says, holding up the boxes of cereal. Dan points to the Crunchy Nut. 

Phil makes them each a bowl of cereal, and places one of them in front of Dan. 

“Thanks,” he says, and it makes Phil smile. Dan really likes that smile. 

They eat their cereal quietly, enjoying the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Dan likes how the silence doesn’t really become awkward, he can just appreciate being in the same space as Phil. And if he sneaks a couple glances at Phil when he’s not looking, no harm done. 

When they’re done, Phil puts their dishes in the sink and they go back to his bedroom. They plan to get some more work done, but they end up playing video games again. Dan’s glad about that, because then they’ll have to meet up again.

He leaves a few hours later - his mum wants him to watch his brother or something. He feels like his parents don’t care all that much about him until they need him for something. That’s fine, at least he got to spend some time with Phil. 

Dan’s reluctant to leave, and he may be imagining it, but Phil looks disappointed.

Phil walks him to the door.

“Bye, Dan,” he says. “I’ll see you Monday?”

Of course he’ll see him Monday. “Yeah.”

Dan lingers a little awkwardly. Should he give Phil a hug? Would that be an appropriate thing to do?

He ends up awkwardly touching Phil’s arm, for a few seconds longer than he needs to. 

“Bye Phil,” he says as he pulls back.

Phil smiles until Dan finally walks away. 

-

“Here, I’ll walk to your next class with you,” Phil says.

They’ve just finished with the lesson. Dan absolutely hates this class (but Phil might make it a bit more bearable).

Dan raises his eyebrows. Phil just smiles. Dan doesn’t think that’s fair.

When Dan finishes gathering up his books, he and Phil head off toward Dan’s next class. Four people, seriously, say hi to Phil as they pass by. Phil waves back at all of them. He’s so nice, god. Dan is... less nice. He wonders again why Phil keeps choosing to be here with him, when there are so many better options.

“I’ll see you later?” Phil asks, when they get to Dan’s class.

“Of course,” Dan says. He realizes a bit too late how sincere he sounded, but Phil doesn’t seem to notice. Or if he does, he doesn’t mind.

Dan watches Phil as he walks away.

“What the fuck was that?” Bryony asks as Dan plops down in his seat next to hers.

“What?” 

“Since when are you friends with Phil Lester?” she says, emphasizing his name. Dan doesn’t think that’s necessary.

He shrugs. “I dunno. We have class now,” he points out.

Bryony gives him a look. “You never give a fuck about this class.”

“Well, maybe I’m trying to improve, be a better person. It’s never too late to do that, you know.”

“Alright. Whatever you say, mate.” She’s definitely suspicious now. Dan prefers that tone used on other people, not him. He’s perfectly fine with not giving people anything to talk about, thank you very much.

But if hanging out with Phil means he has to deal with Bryony questioning him, he’ll live.

-

Dan’s just about to try and get some sleep when he hears his phone buzz. He fishes through the covers and to find it. It’s a text from Phil.

_Hey, are you awake?_

Dan finds this a little odd, but he’s not complaining. _yeah, why_

Phil replies almost instantly. _Do you want to go for a walk?_

And that’s… even more odd. He didn’t think Phil was the type to spontaneously ask people to go for a walk. Especially Dan. He thinks about saying no, but he wasn’t going to get any sleep anyways. Who is he kidding, he wasn’t going to say no. Time spent with Phil always makes him hate himself a little less.

 _sure, why not?_ He texts back. This is fine.

_Okay! I’ll be there soon_

Dan gets up to look for some clothes. He hasn’t even gotten a chance to look through them before getting another text from Phil, asking for his address. 

_idiot_ , Dan texts, before sending it to him. 

He digs through the pile of various shades of black on his floor until he finds something clean, before Phil texts him that he’s here.

Dan takes a look in the bathroom mirror before he heads out. Fuck, he forgot his hair wasn’t straightened. He thinks about making Phil wait while he straightens it, but decides against it. He doesn’t want Phil to think he’s rude and regret deciding to spend extra time with him. 

He manages to head downstairs and out the door without waking anyone. Or maybe they are awake, and just don’t care that much.

He sees Phil looking down at his phone. 

“Hi,” Dan says.

Phil looks up. “Hi. You ready?”

“I mean, yeah. Where are we going?”

Phil makes a face. “I hadn’t really thought that hard about it?”

Dan lets out a sharp laugh. “You idiot.”

They end up at the neighbourhood park, rocking lazily on the swings. 

“I like your hair,” Phil says. 

Dan groans. “Don’t judge me. It’s late, I forgot about it.”

“No, it looks good. You should wear it like that more often.”

“That’s what I said about your glasses, and you haven’t done that,” Dan points out.

“This is different.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! You look… cute. Or the hair- the hair looks cute. On you.”

It’s dark, and it might just be wishful thinking, but Dan swears he sees Phil blush. He doesn’t want to think about what that means. 

It doesn’t mean anything.

He settles with a quiet thanks, which comes out more sincere that he intended. 

They settle into silence after that. It’s not necessarily awkward, just. Well, maybe it is a little awkward. Dan curses himself for making it weird. Phil isn’t weird like that. 

“It’s getting late,” Phil says, checking his phone. “We should probably head back.”

Dan nods. He’s not sure that Phil cares that much about the time, he certainly doesn’t, but he goes with it.

“I can’t afford to be more of a zombie than I usually am tomorrow.”

Phil smiles, just a little. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”

The walk back is quiet, and a little tense. Dan doesn’t want that at all, but he can’t think of anything to say that would bring it back to normal.

His hand brushes against Phil’s accidentally. He almost stammers out an apology, but Phil doesn’t say anything. Their hands brush again. Dan refuses to give it much thought, but he likes it. Just a little bit.

By the time they reach Dan’s house, he feels a little lighter. He’s still slightly worried that he did something wrong, but Phil smiles.

And Dan can’t help but smile back.

He realizes Phil’s opening his arms for a hug a little too late. He giggles, actually fucking giggles, and goes to return it. They don’t usually hug, but Dan likes it a lot. Phil smells warm, and his arms are strong around him. 

It’s over too soon, in Dan’s opinion. 

“Goodnight, Danny.”

“‘Night, Phil.”

“You should wear your hair like that tomorrow.”

Oh. Dan thought they moved past that.

“Absolutely not. Nope, can’t do that.”

Phil shrugs. Dan rolls his eyes, gives Phil one last look, and reluctantly walks towards the door. 

He wonders if his parents noticed him gone. He doesn’t think they did. He’s fine with that, he decides, as he walks to his room without having to see anyone. 

He falls asleep thinking about Phil. 

-

He wears his hair curly. He doesn’t mean to do it, it’s just. He was running late, his little brother ate the last of his cereal, he couldn’t find an assignment he needed to turn in, and overall, it’s just not his day. 

So he forgets about the hair. It’s not like he always has to straighten it, except well, he kind of does. He didn’t straighten his hair when he was younger, so he’ll live. And Phil said it was cute. That might have a little bit to do with it. 

He’s late for class and dozes off for a good portion of the lesson. That’s fine, he doesn’t really care all that much. 

Phil waits for him as they walk out of the classroom. 

When Dan catches up to him, he tugs at one of his curls before pulling his hand away. 

Dan buries his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking tired, oh my god, don’t say anything.”

Phil chuckles. “I told you it was cute.”

If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d think Phil was flirting with him. He has to know better. But, he’s ninety percent sure he’s blushing, whatever Phil’s intentions may be. 

“Whatever.”

Phil puts a hand on his shoulder before he walks off. 

“I’ll see you at lunch?"

Dan nods and does the most awkward two fingered salute at Phil before he turns around and goes the other direction.

-

The group project comes and goes, and Phil hasn’t gone anywhere. Dan’s halfway expecting him to. 

He can’t sleep again. It’s becoming a more common occurrence as of late. 

He tosses and turns for a bit, before quietly going downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He thinks about getting a glass of warm milk too, but decides against it. It seems like too much effort anyways.

He gets back underneath the covers. And, as usual, this is when his mind starts racing. He’s not a fan of it. 

Dan’s known he’s liked boys for a while. And he likes Phil. He really fucking likes Phil. He wonders, briefly, if Phil might like him too. 

It feels like too much to hope for. Dan really doesn’t want to be crushed at the end of it. But he’s not sure if he wants to keep living with all of these feelings hanging over his head. 

He feels like if he wanted to get over Phil, he would need to stop being around him so much. He doesn’t want that. At least if he said something, even if he was horribly rejected, he would be able to have some closure.

He doesn’t feel great about it. He’s always been the quiet nerd that mumbles sarcastic comments in class. This feels like too much. Maybe in a good way. 

He keeps tossing and turning as the sun comes up. 

-

“Are you alright?”

“What?” Dan says. They’re standing in the hallway, during a break. 

“I asked if you were alright. You seem kind of… out of it,” Phil offers. 

Dan sighs. “I’m fine, just really fucking tired.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. But, yeah, me too.”

Dan tries to put on his best smile. It’s not as hard with Phil as it is with everyone else. Keeping up appearances isn’t getting any easier.

A couple of people start walking towards them. Dan vaguely recognizes them from hanging out with Phil. He really doesn’t want to deal with this today. As much as Phil tries to make Dan feel included, he often feels weird around all of Phil’s friends. That’s not Phil’s fault, Dan’s just a… faulty person.

Phil gives the group a bright smile, as they get closer and start chatting. 

Dan puts a hand on Phil’s arm, just for just a second. “I think I’m gonna go,” he says. 

Phil’s face falls a little. Dan tries not to let it get to him.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he says as he grabs his bag. He feels Phil watching him as he goes.

When he’s out of their sight, he takes a deep breath. 

-

"Have you ever dated anyone?" Dan asks. Fuck. He doesn’t know where that came from.

They’ve been hanging out quite a bit recently. Phil’s even better to be around like this. 

Phil makes a face. "I had a girlfriend a couple of years ago for an entire week. Does that count?"

Dan laughs. "I guess not."

"Have you? Ever dated anyone?"

"Nah. Or, not really." Dan doesn't elaborate anymore than that. Phil doesn't need to know about the girls, and boys, he's kissed before.

Phil nods, and thankfully doesn't say anything else about it.

Dan wonders if that means anything long after Phil's left.

-

Phil’s over at his house after school. He’s sprawled out on Dan’s bed while Dan is sat at his desk chair. He looks like he belongs there, in Dan’s space. Dan quite likes it. 

“Dan,” Phil says, looking up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah?”

“Chris’s parents are out of town, and he’s having a party…” 

Dan groans. “Are you asking me to go with you?”

Phil sits up, and actually sticks his bottom lip out. “Please?”

Dan thinks he’s very cute. As much as he wants to say no, he’s having a hard time thinking of reasons to turn Phil down in this moment. 

“Fine.”

Phil perks up. “Wait, really?”

“Why not? It’s probably good for me not to be so lame sometimes.”

Phil frowns at that. “Hey. You’re not lame.”

Dan shrugs. “Whatever you say, mate.”

-

They’ve only just gotten there, and Dan already regrets coming. Mostly. 

Phil seems genuinely excited that he’s there with him. That makes Dan feel… something. He thinks it’s a good thing. 

Dan’s been trying to get into it, as much as he can. Phil introduces him to people there. Dan recognizes a lot of them, but he’s never actually talked to most of them. Some of them recognize him as ‘Phil’s friend.’ So that’s a thing

But there’s a girl that’s been trying to talk to Phil for fifteen minutes, and Dan feels very out of place. 

“I’m gonna go grab a drink,” he says, in Phil’s ear, so he can hear him over the noise.

Phil looks at him for a second, but nods.

Dan walks into the kitchen. There isn’t anyone in there now, which is a bit of a relief. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s in there for. A couple people come in and out, but they don’t try to talk to him. He’s glad for that.

He sets his now empty cup on the counter as he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns his head. It’s Phil.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Dan says.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Dan tells him, because it is. He shouldn’t be here being sad in a corner, taking Phil away from his friends. 

“Well, I’m the one who made you come, so…” Phil says, leaning against the counter beside Dan.

“Not your fault. I’m just… not the best at stuff like this.” He puts his thumb in his mouth and bites at the nail before he catches himself.

“We can go if you want,” Phil offers. 

Dan shakes his head. “No, no. I said yes, I can stay for a bit.”

“I’m not having the best time either.”

“Really?”

“My mates aren’t- they aren’t always that great. Sometimes. Today, at least.”

Dan makes a face at that. “If you’re sure,” he says. He hopes Phil isn’t just being nice for his sake. 

“I am.”

“Alright.”

They head out of the kitchen and out toward the front door. 

“Philly has a boyfriend!” someone calls. Dan bristles at that.

“Fuck off,” Phil responds. That surprises Dan a bit- Phil’s tone is still light, but he sounds upset.

“Sorry about that,” he says when they get outside. 

“It’s fine,” Dan says, because it is, mostly. He wouldn’t mind being Phil’s boyfriend, at all, but Phil seems upset by whatever his mates said. Dan gets that too. 

“Do you want to come back to mine?” Phil asks. He’s looking everywhere but Dan. 

Dan agrees, because of course he does. Being with Phil by himself is a lot nicer than being sat at home.

They decide on a Marvel movie to watch and settle down on Phil's bed. 

They’re so close now. If Dan scoots over just the tiniest bit, their shoulders would be touching. Maybe that will happen, at some point. Dan thinks back to the time he spent the night at Phil’s, and he’d quite like for something like that to happen again. 

“Thor is like… really hot,” Phil mumbles. He sounds sleepy.

Dan can’t have heard him right. “What?” he asks. 

“Thor’s fit,” Phil repeats. 

And oh. That means something, doesn’t it?

Dan takes a deep breath. This is probably where he should say something back, but Phil doesn’t look particularly bothered. Dan takes a deep breath. 

“Yeah,” Dan says. “I reckon he is.”

Phil smiles a little. It feels like a lot. 

Dan ends up staying the night again. He doesn’t fall asleep on Phil shoulder this time, but they trade sleepy conversation late into the night that might just make up for it. 

-

Phil's shoulder bumps against his as they walk to Starbucks after school. Phil had asked Dan if he wanted to go, and who was Dan to say no?

"Go sit," Dan says as they walk in. "I'll order."

Phil shoots him a grateful smile, and finds a table in the back corner. 

Dan walks over to meet him with two drinks and a chocolate chip muffin in hand.

"Here," he says, setting them down. "Did you really need more sugar?"

"Always," Phil replies. He snatches the muffin and takes a bite.

"Oi! I bought that. Let me at least have some."

Phil looks sheepish. "I was going to pay you back."

"No, you weren't." Phil starts to protest but Dan waves him off. "I'm paying, okay? But you're sharing." 

Phil nods, and passes the muffin over to Dan. “Thanks.”

They sit in relative silence, but Phil's leg bumps into his every once in a while as he points out different people walking by. 

"Idiot," Dan says, bumping his leg back, as Phil tells an especially ridiculous backstory. 

"Your mum's an idiot."

"Very mature, Phil."

"Yes."

They sit there until the sun sets, and Phil's mum texts to ask where he is. 

Phil groans. "She always does that."

"I mean, that's kind of sweet though."

"It's annoying."

Dan just shrugs. "I'll see you tomorrow," Dan says, standing up. He grabs his coffee cup to throw away. Phil does the same.

"We have a test tomorrow, don't we?"

"Shit. I forgot about that. Time to die, I guess."

"Hey. No dying allowed," Phil says as they slowly make their way out.

Dan raises his eyebrows. "Do you make the rules now?" 

"Yes. I make all of the rules."

"Whatever, mate."

The evening air is cool as they step outside. Dan looks over at Phil, and finds Phil looking back. Phil holds the stare for a brief second before looking away. 

It feels almost awkward, tense. Dan doesn't really know what to do with that.

"You'd better get going. Don't want Kath to worry."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

"Bye," Dan says, putting a hand on Phil's arm. He might keep it there too long, he can't exactly tell.

Phil does a little wave before he walks off and Dan smiles all the way home.

-

Dan wakes up slowly. The sun is shining directly in his eyes. He groans.

He can feel a headache threatening to haunt him with full force. He can't be bothered to get up today.

He sits up and scrambles around for his phone. He picks it up and checks the time. Being up at this hour should not be allowed, he thinks. 

He's so, so tired. Maybe he can convince his mum to let him stay home. He's done it before, and it's never all that hard. 

He grabs a sweatshirt and pads down the stairs. 

Dan tells his mum he's feeling poorly. She gives him a look, but she agrees to let him stay home for the day. 

He thinks about getting a bowl of cereal for breakfast when she leaves for work, but decides against it. 

He goes back up to his room and burrows under the covers. Eventually, he falls asleep.

-

Dan wakes up at some point during the day. It's one of those days where he can't feel anything at all, he realizes. 

He checks his phone- it's been a few hours. He also has a text from Phil.

_Hey Dan. You aren't here today, and I was wondering if you were ok?_

Dan smiles a little at that. Phil's sweet. He doesn't understand why Phil would wonder about him of all people when he isn't there. Phil's got loads of friends. Dan's been trying not to think that way lately, but the thoughts worm their way back in anyway.

Dan tosses his phone back down. He'll get back to Phil later. 

He picks it back up. He feels awful, but not responding to Phil makes him feel guilty, and he really doesn't want that any more than he already has today.

 _i’m fine,_ he texts back. 

Phil replies right away. _Are you sure?_

_yeah. just felt kind of weird today. i'll be back tomorrow._

_Ok. I missed you today. I hope you feel better :)_

Dan tosses his phone back down.

-

Dan spends most of the day in bed, alternating between feeling empty and hating himself. It's been a while since he's had this bad of a day.

He hears a soft knock on his door. 

"Yeah," he calls, still facing away from the door. 

He hears it creak open slowly.

"Hey."

Dan sits up. Fucking Phil. He was not prepared for this. 

"Phil? What are you doing here?"

"Your grandma let me in," Phil says.

"I didn't even know she was here." 

Phil sets his backpack down and takes a seat in the chair by Dan's desk. 

"What time is it? What the fuck? Oh god, I look like a mess, what- why are you even here right now?"

Phil looks a bit hurt at that. "You weren't at school today, so I just. Thought I'd bring your homework?" His voice pitches up at the end like he's asking a question. "Do you want me to leave?" he asks. 

Dan sighs. "No," he says, honestly. "Just let me like, get dressed or something."

He gets up, grabs a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, and walks into his bathroom. 

He looks at himself in the mirror. He looks so tired, with deep purple shadows under his eyes. There goes wanting to look attractive. 

He splashes some water on his face and brushes his teeth after he changes. At least he tried a little, he thinks. Nothing can be done about the curls now. And Phil did say they were cute.

Phil's looking at his phone when Dan goes back into his room. 

"There you are," he says, smiling.

"Sorry I look like shit," Dan says. Phil at least deserves an apology.

"Hey, don't say that. You always... you look good, Dan."

"You need to get your eyes checked mate."

Phil just rolls his eyes. "Don't make fun of my eyesight. It has nothing to do with this."

Dan shrugs and sits back down on his bed. He picks up a pillow for something to do with his hands. 

"So what did they make you do in prison today?" Dan asks.

Phil brightens, and launches into a story about how the day went. Dan finds himself feeling better as Phil talks. Lighter maybe. Phil is genuinely a good storyteller.

He eventually hands Dan the homework out of his backpack. 

“Fucking hell, why do they do this to us? I swear, they’re all sadists,” Dan says while looking over the assignment.

Phil laughs a bit. “They probably are.”

“Do they really expect me to do this while I’m ill?”

“Are you actually ill?” Phil looks concerned. “And probably not.”

“No. Well, not really. I just feel like shit.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just sometimes I’m just... not great.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

Dan feels a bit of fondness in his chest. Phil is so nice to him and he has no idea why.

He shrugs. “Dunno why you’re being so nice to me.”

“Dan, we’re friends. Of course I’m nice to you. I care about you.”

Friends. That’s fine, Dan can live with that.

“Whatever, you absolute spoon, I guess I care about you too. Maybe.”

They end up watching a bit of Netflix on Dan’s bed. Dan tries not to take in how their shoulders and knees are touching. After a couple of episodes, Phil’s mum texts him and asks him to come home. 

Phil gives him a hug before he leaves, and Dan promises that he’ll see him at school tomorrow.

He falls asleep feeling a little better than he woke up in the morning.

-

"Hey," Phil says, voice soft. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, mostly," Dan says. He still feels off, but he thinks it'll be a bit before he feels right again, if he ever does. He doesn't know how to say all of that, so he doesn't, but he appreciates Phil asking..

"That's good. I'm glad."

"Thanks for like, coming over."

Phil smiles. "Yeah, anytime. I like having excuses to hang out with you."

"You hang out with me all the time, you don't need more excuses, you spork," Dan says, shoving Phil's shoulder. 

"That right?"

"I mean... Yeah?"

"Good. I like spending time with you." Phil sounds so sincere as he says it, and Dan doesn't know what to say back.

He notices how close Phil is sitting, his legs turned towards Dan, their knees touching. He looks back up, and Phil's smiling. 

Dan feels himself smiling back before he can even think about it.

"Dimples," Phil says, poking one of them.

"Fucking cheek deformities."

"They're cute."

"You're cute," Dan says before he can think about it. Shit.

Phil taps his nose before putting his hand back down. 

"I think you're the cute one," Phil says, quietly.

This. This is flirting. _Definitely_ flirting. 

Dan's not sure what to do with this information. His heart pounds in his chest. 

-

Dan decides to sit outside, on a bench in a fairly secluded corner. He feels like he can’t breathe sometimes, and this is the best option for now. 

He picks at the wood on the bench while he stares down at his shoes. 

It’s been a couple of days since whatever that was. Phil’s still the same as always, but there seems to be an added layer to it. 

Dan wonders when Phil is going to realize that he’s way too good to be hanging around Dan all the time. Dan’s a massive failure, and... Phil isn’t. 

Dan’s too lost in his thoughts to notice Phil walking over, until he sits down beside Dan. 

“There you are,” Phil says. 

“Were you looking for me?” Dan asks. He knows the answer, he just wants to hear Phil say it. 

“Yeah, of course.”

“Why?” he asks, because sometimes he’s destructive like that. 

“You know why. I’d rather hang out with you,” Phil says, like it’s nothing. 

Dan doesn’t say anything for a moment. He sighs before he talks again. 

“When are you going to realize that I’m not worth hanging around? You’ve got loads of mate and stuff...” Dan doesn’t know where he’s going with this. 

“Dan.”

Dan looks up. Phil looks... hurt, almost. 

“Do you actually think that?” Phil asks. “I like you Dan. But if you want me to leave, that’s fine.” Phil doesn’t sound like it would be fine, and Dan doesn’t want that at all. 

“No. Fuck. I’m such an idiot sometimes. I’m sorry.” Phil’s been nothing but nice to him, and Dan goes and fucks it up. 

“It’s okay,” Phil says. “C’mere?” Phil holds his arms out. 

Dan goes. Phil’s arms wrap around his shoulders and he feels warms. He smells warm too, somehow. 

This is definitely the longest they’ve ever hugged, too long to be dismissed easily. Dan has a thought that he hopes no one sees, but it goes away quickly as Phil runs a hand down his back. 

-

Dan’s sat next to Bryony before the class starts, tapping a pencil on the desk when a girl walks over to them. 

She starts talking to Bryony about something, Dan can’t really be bothered to listen, when Bryony giggles. Actually full on giggles. Dan doesn’t think he’s ever heard her do that.

He stops tapping his pencil and looks over at her. She’s blushing. 

“What the hell was that?”

“What? Nothing,” Bryony says, too quickly. 

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“I could say the same thing about you and... Phil.”

Dan feels his heart start to race at that, but when he thinks about it, it doesn’t actually seem all that scary. 

He shrugs. Maybe it’s okay.

-

Dan meets Phil outside at the end of the day. He finds Phil looking down at his phone. 

“Hey,” Dan says. Phil looks up from his phone with a smile on his face. 

“Hello there.”

God. Phil’s cute. Dan finds himself getting lost in it.

“Where are we going?” Phil asks, breaking through Dan’s thoughts. 

“Hm. Can we go to yours?”

Phil nods. “Yeah, sure.”

The walk back to Phil’s house is pleasant as always. Phil bumps his shoulder into Dan’s, and Dan bumps his back. Dan decides to let himself enjoy this. 

“Oh my god, Dan look!” Phil says, pointing to a dog across the street. 

It’s a cute dog. “11/10. A good boy.”

“Do you think we could go pet it?”

Dan laughs. Phil’s actually a dork, in the best way possible. “You do you mate, but I’m not gonna ask a stranger to let us pet their dog.”

Phil pouts and sticks out his bottom lip. Dan feels his heart melt a little.

“Oh come on, don’t do that.”

“Please?”

They end up going to pet the dog. Dan thinks it’s worth the awkwardness for how happy Phil looks.

-

No one is home when they get back to Phil’s house. Dan’s secretly grateful for that. Phil’s family seems quite nice, but he feels a bit drained.

Phil makes them a snack and glasses of ribena before they go to his room.

“Do you want to watch something?” Phil asks, plopping down on his bed.

Dan goes to join him. “We can, if you want.”

Phil looks at him for a moment, like he’s going to say something, but turns away and loads up Netflix on his laptop.

Neither of them say anything. Dan tries to focus on the show, but ends up thinking about Phil, and how close he is to him instead. 

This isn’t unusual, but it feels different today. Dan’s almost certain now that Phil feels something, and it’s making his stomach flutter with anticipation. 

It still feels too unreal to even get his hopes up for. 

Phil gets up to use the toilet after the end of the episode. Dan takes a deep breath and focuses on the familiar blue and green of Phil’s bedsheets. 

When Phil gets back, he settles down much closer to Dan than he was before, and starts the show back up. 

Dan decides he’s going to be brave now. He leans over and puts his head on Phil’s shoulder, hearing a soft intake of breath from Phil. 

“Is this okay?” Dan asks quietly, after a moment. 

“Yeah,” Phil breathes, and puts his arm around Dan’s shoulders. 

They’re cuddling now and… it feels right. Dan’s going to enjoy this while he can.

-

When the episode finishes, Phil reaches over and pauses it on his laptop. He turns toward Dan and. 

They’re so close, now. 

Phil’s eyes drop down to his lips and then back up again. Dan’s heart starts to beat faster in his chest. 

“Dan,” Phil says. 

“Yeah.”

“Can I kiss you?” Phil asks, so softly. 

Dan nods. “Yeah,” he says again. 

Phil reaches up to cup his jaw, before leaning in. 

Phil pulls back after a moment with a stunned look on his face that morphs into a smile. Dan wraps a hand around the back of Phil’s neck and goes back in. 

Phil rolls back over onto his side when they break apart. Dan finds his hand and takes it in his. 

“Hey,” Dan says. He’s not sure what else to say. 

Phil looks over at him, with a little smirk on his face. Dan wants to kiss it off, so he does, quickly. 

“I- I really like you, Dan,” Phil says, after. “I have for a while.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, course. I thought I was being obvious, half the time.”

Dan shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe you were. I try not to get my hopes up.”

“Why not?”

Dan turns on his back and looks up at Phil’s ceiling. He takes note of the way Phil’s thumb is stroking back and forth on his hand. 

“I mean, that’s the way I’ve been conditioned.” Phil gives him a curious look. “Never mind. It just... didn’t make that much sense at first. You’ve got loads of mates, and I just like, repel people.”

“You don’t repel people, Dan.”

“You’re sweet, but. I kind of do.”

“Don’t say that about yourself! I’m here.”

Dan turns back to look at Phil. “I really like you too.”

Dan thinks his heart is going to explode from the look on Phil’s face. 

Phil leans back in, rolling half on top of him, and kisses him again.

-

Phil’s parents come home shortly after, so they don’t get a chance to do all that much. Dan’s okay with that, as it looks like this is a thing they’ll be doing again. 

They eat dinner with Phil’s family. It’s not terrible, for Dan. He thinks that might be an improvement. 

They go back to Phil’s bedroom after. They’re sat up against the headboard, leaned into each other. 

“What do you think your friends would say?” Dan asks. He’s not sure it’s something that he should ask, but he does anyway.

Phil sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. They’re generally really nice, but I don’t think you can ever really know, can you?”

“I guess not,” Dan says. He gets that.

“I mean, we don’t have to tell them just yet, do we?” Phil seems genuinely concerned.

Dan shakes his head. “No, of course not. I don’t think I’m ready at all, and like. I don’t want to give people any more reason to think I’m like... weird or whatever.”

“Yeah.”

He thinks of Bryony and the girl she might like. He thinks of the people that used to call him out for being different. But maybe, things could get better. 

“The people I used to hang out with weren’t great,” Dan explains, looking down at his hands. 

“You’ve got me now,” Phil says, wrapping his arms around Dan.

Dan smiles. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi and reblog on [tumblr](https://fairylocal.tumblr.com/post/186545587349/electrify-my-heart)!


End file.
